do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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