READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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