your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
