Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
