I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
