Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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