I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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