If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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