Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
