About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
