I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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