We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
