Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize