Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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