your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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