Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
