god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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