I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
