hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
