Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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