his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
