where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
people are starting to question the shark bite story
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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