you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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