We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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