Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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