that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
