no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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