Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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