i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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