she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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