I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
