i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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