Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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