Already got asked if we're dating
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.