Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.