I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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