She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i believe in u and ur pee
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
