I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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