That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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