quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
