No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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