He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I party with great urgency now.
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