Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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