Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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