Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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