He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
