What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
