Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
