if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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