it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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