why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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