Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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