You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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