woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize