glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Me too!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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