You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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