Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize