The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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